Addiction/Disease and Happiness
Posted by admin in aa alternatives, addiction, alcohol, alcoholic, alcoholics anonymous, courage, recovery, rehab, substance abuse
It was a toss-up—should I write about Lindsay Lohan or Kelly Osborne? They are both, along with talk of their substance abuse, in a recent issue of People magazine. Kelly won due to her quotable quotes.
But first let me say this: having fallen into similar habits and rehabs myself at her age and earlier (and later) I feel for her—and Lindsay. I really do feel bad for young people who are not only struggling with addiction but are also having to struggle with the insufficient and very often detrimental treatment they are so often administered. It’s very, very sad for me to see this. But it continues.
Kelly’s quote number one: “This is a disease. I was born with it. I’ll die with it.”
Again, Kelly is a lot like me. There was a time when I was still being coached by therapists, rehabs, and AA-goers who shared that belief—that alcohol dependency is a disease—and who pushed me to believe it as well. Obviously, if you follow my writing, you know I do not accept that alcoholism is a disease. Yes, a person’s body can become dependent, but that is not a disease. And thanks to my refusal to accept that I am diseased, I do not have to spend my life under a false veil, under constant watch and fear, under shame.
Kelly’s quote number two and the reason she is willing to believe alcoholism is a disease: “I just want to be happy. Anything is better than the way it was.”
Kelly is a lot like me. Kelly is a lot like all of us. Wanting to be happy is not a disease. How we attain happiness is a process. True, it is often a misguided process, but being misguided is NOT a disease.
Tags: addiction, alcohol, alcoholic, alcoholics anonymous, beliefs, Kelly Osborne, recovery, rehab, substance abuse
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You would think that if Alcoholism were a disease or could be successfully treated with rehab, young women like Kelly and Lindsay would be cured. They have the money to have the best treatment available unlike the millions who do not, which makes your point that healing alcoholism is a process, finding happiness is a process….life, in fact, is a process to be discovered. Nice post.
I never thought about it this way. I always supported identifying alcoholism as a disease because I wanted to take a little heat off the addict. After all, people are so quick to condemn those of us who struggle with substances that calling it a “disease” seems like it would soften the condemnation. We don’t condemn people who have, say, Parkinson’s disease for being “bad” and “irresponsible.” But this is a powerful point you make–thinking you have a “disease” actually makes it harder to grow and heal. And to think of it as a lifetime disease–that makes it worse. In other words, I might be able to stop drinking, but I will NEVER be able to get better. Ughh!!! You have influenced me to change my thinking. I still think people are too condemning and judgmental, and I still wish they would be a little more understanding and compassionate. But now I no longer identify alcoholism as a “disease” to try to get these people to stop condemning. Not only did it not work very often, but the cost to me is way too high. I don’t want to be saddled with a lifetime of illness–even if I never drink again. I mean, as much as I want to stop drinking, I don’t just want to stop drinking. I also want to get better. Indeed, the idea that I can get all better motivates me. Thank you, Amy, for your clarity on this.
“being misguided is NOT a disease.” Good point! Drinking requires so many CHOICES disease IT IS NOT. But — people who are stuck usually need help to make better choices. So even if ultimately they are responsible for making changes, so are we responsible to teach them how — and teaching them they have a disease does not teach them how to change it teaches them they can’t!
Well nothing I haven’t stated before….
My position is a little unique to yours and conventional AA. I still havent got my head around the “disease” concept so I am with you on that. For me, I continue to use what I call the “disease analogy” and use my program of recovery as “treatment of my disease” and the result is that I have stayed sober and gained a lot of ground.
I still maitain a disconnect in concept though that alcoholism and addiction is a disease like cancer, ms, or others. I just don’t see it. But for me, approaching my alcoholism as parallel to a disease continues to work so I use it. I do not prostheletise my views other than to offer my perspective in hope that someone else may find this approach helpful in getting sober and finding some recovery. If another way works for others, I am simply glad for their victory.
Again, I too am not entirely comfortable dwelling on seeming negativity of the lifelong affliction either. Just for now, I know that I am not in any kind of a safe place if I give my tendancy toward alcholism too much ground. I have proven beyond the shadow of a doubt to myself that I cannot safely drink or alter my mood with any chemical substance. And thus far, it is a seemingly chronic state so will view it that way for now. Will see what the future brings…. but that is tomorrow’s business.
The common goal, I feel is one of sobriety and recovery for us all. I hope we all find our way there in what works for us.
Ciao.
Chaz
Well, I don’t believe my overuse of alcohol was a disease, but I too know that if I return to drinking, my old habits will kick in and I’ve already worked once to break them, so why make myself do the work all over again. But a disease is something you don’t usually have choice over. It infects you. I do have choice over the alcohol. Each to his own…..as Chaz says, the common goal is clean and healthy living!