Beyond Rehab

A while back I was asked to write about what finally convinced me I had to quit drinking. Immediately I remembered the horrible alcohol-induced hallucinations I experienced leading up to the morning I finally quit. But then I remembered—that is not what convinced me I needed to quit drinking for good. That horrifying experience is only what convinced me I needed to quit drinking for that day.

I had spent over 20 years abusing my body with substances, so of course I had hit drinking and drugging bottoms before that last one. The last one just took on a different form—albeit one of the most frightening. However, “hitting bottom” or the fear of hitting bottom was not enough to convince me to quit drinking forever—as it is not enough for many. It takes something more.

So what is that extra element that convinced me after that last episode of “hitting bottom” to do more than just heal-up for a few days and return to drinking as I had so often done in the past?

Two things—one was my willingness to finally have the courage to acknowledge that ”little” voice of good judgment I had been ignoring for so much of my life. And two was my willingness to act on that “little” voice’s wisdom.

The wisdom I ignored and eventually, finally, listened to and acted upon was this: My life is a creative one. It is not meant to be about avoiding drugs and alcohol. Life is about what I say yes to, not what I say no to. I am free to find my own way to live the life I dream of, the life I truly desire.

I do not share the opinions and beliefs of Alcoholics Anonymous, and I have every right not to be limited by the beliefs of that program or those who support it. However—and this is a BIG however—I am responsible for discovering what I do believe. I am responsible for discovering and acting upon, to the best of my ability, ways to enhance my life and the lives of those I touch. Kindness, compassion and love—with a bit of fun added in as often as possible—is a mantra for all (that is, of course, if you choose to believe in it).